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My ex (19f) has been daydreaming about other men. : relation…

 

I need somewhere to channel my frustration. Made a throwaway so she couldn’t see this post.

Me (20M) and my ex were dating for two years, and up until now, the relationship started to take a turn for the worst. It got to the point that we were fighting almost every day about the most trivial things. Trust me I knew that given enough time resentment would build up and someone would leave the relationship, but I did not think either one of us would be cheated on (especially after having a conversation about how there is absolutely no remorse for cheaters). It happened a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been struggling with it ever since.

So here’s the story:

Rewind back to about a month ago and my ex moves about half an hour across town from me to go live with her dad. She used to live a few minutes away and we would hang out almost every day, life was good. For me, 30 minutes away is a decent drive and we started to realize that the distance would take some time to get used to. As you would expect we fought during the process, I remember fighting about why she’s been face timing me less often and not texting me like she used to. It was weird, my gut was telling me something was off because she would text me the stupidest things but now it seemed like I wasn’t caught up with anything. She works as a bartender so there’s always something happening. It only got worst from there because I was constantly bringing it up and she reassured me that it was just because she was tired from work and having to go home and deal with her little siblings right after. For me, I always felt like there was a piece missing from the puzzle, but despite this, we’ve been trying to build up trust ever since the 2-year mark so I tried not to question it.

Then this happens. I decide to play good cop and tell her that she could pretend that I’m her best friend and somebody at work was testing her and you just wanna blow some steam off. She tells me that there are people at work that she’s been eyeing for a while. She tells me she would even daydream about them, that hurt… She tells me about their body language and how she liked it, she said when this specific guy hit on her it was a “confidence booster”. But then I started getting jealous and tried to pry for more but she kept deflecting my questions by trying to justify her behavior. For example, I would ask if she liked this dude, and she’d like “I get this weird feeling kinda like butterflies but it’s not, but I don’t like him you don’t have to worry because he’s ugly.” We both agreed in the past that this type of behavior was cheating but she would deny any accusation, so things started to get a bit tense and we decided to just give each other space before things got any worst.

So then the next day after work we meet up and talk about it again. Before this fight, we had one fight about how she would wear the most provocative things to work and has been putting on makeup more often. She admitted to wanting to look good for someone and I was truly devastated, as we talk more and more my suspicions were beginning to come to fruition. How she hasn’t been texting me because she’s been having conversations with the guy, how the makeup was for him, how she learned bowling just so she could show him (she works in a bowling alley, and I’m actually a league bowler but I couldn’t get her to bowl before she started working there). She outright says what she’s doing is “prostitute activities” and knows that it’s wrong, but proceeds to do it anyway. The worst part is that it took her months to tell me.

Now the kicker, I am conflicted because she tells me that it’s a confidence booster nothing romantic, but then goes back to saying that she likes him the moment I try to advance. One moment she says “I always talk about homewreckers but I’m wrecking my own home by being ignorant” and the next it’s “I don’t even like this guy wdym I want to keep this relationship”. She says word for word in-text “I like telling people I have a boyfriend, but he never asked, so I let him flirt with me and I started to like him, but I was so confused at the same time because I don’t like it?”. One more for the giggles “I don’t like them, they aren’t options, it’s all hypothetical”.

There is so much more but I want people to actually be able to read this, lol. I apologize for the text wall and if you end up getting to the end I really really appreciate you.

Source:My ex (19f) has been daydreaming about other men. : relation…


Discovered on: 2022-03-12 18:48:13

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